❤️HER NAME IS KAY MARY BROWNE (DEAN)❤️
“Mum was an amazing person. Most kids think that of their parents when they’re younger but mum really was.”
Her name is Kay Mary Browne (Dean). The talented singer and mum-of-two was murdered by her husband Ian Leslie Browne in their home at Woodend, Victoria, on June 1, 1998. She was only 51.
Now a mum herself, Kay’s daughter Emily is doing her best to make the world a better place in memory of her mother and for her own young son.
“She mad me feel safe and made me feel that I was loved,” Emily says.
“I remember this solid feeling all the time as a child as things (at home) got worse but I just felt kind of safe regardless.”
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Kay was bubbly, friendly, compassionate, empathetic and, Emily says, she was just one of those people others enjoyed being around.
“She just made things better,” Emily explains.
“She poured her all into her children, with us never feeling unloved, unsupported, or that we had anything to fear.
“When she was younger mum was in bands, sang on television and I swear half the words she said to us were through some kind of song.
“She never drove, and cycled everywhere. Even dozens of kilometres along the highway from one town to the next just to volunteer at our school.”
Emily was 12 years old on Kay’s last day – her brother was just 10.
“I remember the moment I was told what had happened,” Emily says.
“I was coming home from a piano lesson after school and saw police tape all around our house.
“Part of me kind of knew what was going on, like the culmination of years of life around constant fighting and arguing had already led me to the conclusion.
“As I walked up to the front door a police officer came up to me, put his hand on me, then told me that my mother had been killed and that dad had been arrested.
Some 27 years later, the memories of that moment are vivid.
“I remember my legs giving way and collapsing to the ground, hearing the crunch of gravel as my knees hit the driveway, and being unable to breathe or process what was going on. Everything stopped in that moment yet a million thoughts raced at once,” Emily says.
“I remember asking where my brother was. I remember the taste of blood in my mouth from biting my cheek hard, hoping it might wake me up from the nightmare I was in.
“That this would become the fading memory of an unpleasant dream just a few minutes later. That reprieve never came.”
One of the hardest things Emily does is navigating the complexity of loving the man who murdered her mum.
“My relative would say to me that it was my fault my mum died and that I’m like my dad and I will do the same as he did,” Emily says.
“I internalised a lot of this and I had shame for a very long time.
“I was ashamed to be his child.
“It’s only ben the past five or 10 years that I’ve been able to police with that and say to myself ‘it’s not my fault’.
“It wasn’t a fun way to live.”
The road has been hard for Emily but she’s starting to find her voice.
She hopes by speaking about her mum, other women navigating abuse and violence will find solace in her story and the strength to keep moving forward.
“She would always put other people’s needs in front of her own,” Emily says.
“I don’t want her to be a statistic – I want her to be remembered as her own person who had a backstory, who had people she loved and things she loved to do.
“I just don’t want her to be a number – she was a human with likes, interests, thoughts and feelings and all that was taken from her.
“She was an amazing person and I miss her.”
KAY MARY BROWNE (DEAN) MATTERS! ❤️
Listen to Kay’s story on the She Matters Podcast
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