A woman sent me an email this past week. Here’s what she wrote:
Hi Sherele,
I’m reaching out because I’m a mother currently living through what I can only describe as a broken domestic violence system, and I don’t know who else is listening.
For the past three years, I’ve had an ADVO in place against my ex-partner, who is also the father of my daughter. Despite that, the threats have continued. Like many women, I lost faith in the system a long time ago because every interaction seemed to lead nowhere.
You can help me get a Royal Commission into the Killing of Women and Girls by signing the petition
Two weeks ago, I finally found enough trust to make a formal statement regarding breaches of the ADVO. After years of putting up with behaviour that should never be tolerated, I decided to go through the process and do everything I was supposed to do.
I have since learned that the breach still hasn’t even been sent interstate for service.
At the same time, I’ve been waiting over a month for a simple phone call from my local Domestic Violence Liaison Officer to explain the process and provide an update. That call has never come.
What makes this even harder to understand is that there is an outstanding NSW warrant that has existed for years. During that time, there have been occasions where he has been in NSW, yet nothing appears to have come from it. There have also been previous reports and conversations that, from my understanding, were not identified or progressed as domestic violence matters.
As a victim-survivor, I keep asking myself the same questions.
Why is domestic violence not taken seriously from the very beginning?
Why are victims expected to keep reporting, documenting, and reliving their trauma if those reports are not acted upon quickly?
Why do women have to spend years chasing updates and accountability while trying to keep themselves and their children safe?
Why does it feel like state borders create barriers when it comes to enforcing warrants and domestic violence matters?
Why isn’t there a stronger national approach to protecting victim-survivors and holding perpetrators accountable?
Most importantly, why does it often feel like action only comes after someone has been seriously harmed or killed?
I am exhausted.
Not because I haven’t spoken up.
Not because I haven’t reported.
Not because I haven’t followed the process.
I’m exhausted because I have followed the process and still feel like I am fighting alone.
This isn’t just about me. It’s about every woman who has lost faith after being ignored, every victim who has waited months for answers, every mother trying to protect her children while navigating a system that feels impossible to understand.
I know there are dedicated people working within the system, but from where I stand, the gaps are enormous, and those gaps are leaving women vulnerable.
I don’t want sympathy.
I want awareness.
I want accountability.
And I want people to start asking why so many women are still falling through the cracks despite doing everything they are told to do. Why are they not being protected by the ones (police) who are meant to be on call to protect us at any given time?
Thank you for everything you do to give woman a voice. I hope by sharing my experience, it helps shine a light on just how much still needs to change.
Any other contact to pass this email onto would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I want to start making a noise.
Kind regards,
M
Every time I get a message like this, I fear she may become another name on my femicide toll. Australian governments – national, state & territory – are not listening to us. They do not understand the depth of the systemic failures women face when trying to stay alive and safe.
This is just one of the many reasons we need a Royal Commission into the Killing of Women and Girls.
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