Paulette Kelly wrote the poem I Got Flowers Today (Dedicated to Battered Women) in 1992.
It’s been 33 years since that poem was released and it still resonates despite the decades.
But here’s the thing. The poem, while trying to paint how domestic violence looks, actually feeds the trope that women are ultimately responsible while absolving the abuser of their responsibility to not be violent.
So I re-wrote it – from the man’s perspective.
The original poem is in cards 8-10.
She got flowers today (dedicated to perpetrators of domestic violence)
She got flowers today.
It wasn’t her birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night.
I said a lot of things that really hurt her.
I know I need to pretend I’m sorry and pretend I didn’t mean these things.
So I sent her flowers today.
She got flowers today.
It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night I threw her into a wall and choked her.
It seemed like a nightmare. She couldn’t believe it was real.
She woke up this morning, sore and bruised all over.
I know I need to pretend I’m sorry.
So I sent her flowers today.
She got flowers today.
It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night I threw her into a wall and choked her.
It seemed unreal. A nightmare. But you wake up from nightmares.
And she woke up this morning, sore and bruised all over.
But I know I need to pretend I’m sorry.
So I sent her flowers today.
She got flowers today.
It wasn’t Valentines Day or any other special day.
Last night, I beat her and threatened to kill her.
Make-up and long sleeves don’t hide the cuts and bruises this time.
She couldn’t go to work today because I didn’t want anyone to know.
But I know I need to pretend I’m sorry.
So I sent her flowers today.
She got flowers today.
It wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day.
Last night, I beat her up again and it was worse than all the other times.
If she leaves me, what will I do? How will I see my kids? What about child support?
She’s afraid of me, but she’s too scared and dependent to leave me.
But I need to pretend I’m sorry.
So I sent her flowers today.
She got flowers today. Today is a very special day.
It is the day of her funeral.
Last night, I killed her.
If only I had chosen to get help, to leave and to not be violent, but I didn’t do any of this.
So she got flowers today – for the last time.
❤️SUPPORT MY WORK❤️
Please support my work and the Memorial to Women and Children Lost to Violence and Australian Femicide Watch. You can donate or grab a RED HEART t-shirt! 100% of money raised funds the Memorial and Australian Femicide Watch. When you donate or buy a RED HEART Tee, you help me:
❤️DOCUMENT MURDERED WOMEN & CHILDREN;
❤️PROVIDE MEDIA TRAINING FOR FAMILIES IMPACTED BY FEMICIDE;
❤️ORGANISE RALLIES & VIGILS;
❤️EDUCATE JOURNALISTS ON ETHICAL REPORTING OF MALE VIOLENCE; and
❤️MAKE THE WORLD SAFER.
❤️Donate: https://australianfemicidewatch.org/support/
❤️Shop: https://australianfemicidewatch.org/shop-2/