Paulette Kelly wrote the poem I Got Flowers Today (Dedicated to Battered Women) in 1992.
It’s been 33 years since that poem was released and it still resonates despite the decades.
But here’s the thing. The poem, while trying to paint how domestic violence looks, actually feeds the trope that women are ultimately responsible while absolving the abuser of their responsibility to not be violent.
So I re-wrote it – from the man’s perspective.
The original poem is in cards 8-10.











She got flowers today (dedicated to perpetrators of domestic violence)
She got flowers today.
It wasnโt her birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night.
I said a lot of things that really hurt her.
I know I need to pretend Iโm sorry and pretend I didnโt mean these things.
So I sent her flowers today.
She got flowers today.
It wasnโt our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night I threw her into a wall and choked her.
It seemed like a nightmare. She couldnโt believe it was real.
She woke up this morning, sore and bruised all over.
I know I need to pretend Iโm sorry.
So I sent her flowers today.
She got flowers today.
It wasnโt our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night I threw her into a wall and choked her.
It seemed unreal. A nightmare. But you wake up from nightmares.
And she woke up this morning, sore and bruised all over.
But I know I need to pretend Iโm sorry.
So I sent her flowers today.
She got flowers today.
It wasnโt Valentines Day or any other special day.
Last night, I beat her and threatened to kill her.
Make-up and long sleeves donโt hide the cuts and bruises this time.
She couldnโt go to work today because I didnโt want anyone to know.
But I know I need to pretend Iโm sorry.
So I sent her flowers today.
She got flowers today.
It wasnโt Motherโs Day or any other special day.
Last night, I beat her up again and it was worse than all the other times.
If she leaves me, what will I do? How will I see my kids? What about child support?
Sheโs afraid of me, but sheโs too scared and dependent to leave me.
But I need to pretend Iโm sorry.
So I sent her flowers today.
She got flowers today. Today is a very special day.
It is the day of her funeral.
Last night, I killed her.
If only I had chosen to get help, to leave and to not be violent, but I didnโt do any of this.
So she got flowers today – for the last time.
โค๏ธSUPPORT MY WORKโค๏ธ
Please support my work and the Memorial to Women and Children Lost to Violence and Australian Femicide Watch. You can donate or grab a RED HEART t-shirt! 100% of money raised funds the Memorial and Australian Femicide Watch. When you donate or buy a RED HEART Tee, you help me:
โค๏ธDOCUMENT MURDERED WOMEN & CHILDREN;
โค๏ธPROVIDE MEDIA TRAINING FOR FAMILIES IMPACTED BY FEMICIDE;
โค๏ธORGANISE RALLIES & VIGILS;
โค๏ธEDUCATE JOURNALISTS ON ETHICAL REPORTING OF MALE VIOLENCE; and
โค๏ธMAKE THE WORLD SAFER.
โค๏ธDonate: https://australianfemicidewatch.org/support/
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